ThRu.My.EyEs

nk percaya 100% pon xley gak.. tp benarlah tafsiran mimpi tu.. maybe kebetulan.. hanya Allah jer yg tau.. bertimpa2 dugaan demi dugaan yg kena harungi.. try to b stronger by day to day even diri ini masih diragui kemampuaanya lg.. sbr je la wahai diri ini yg sbnrnyer kuat dlm kelemahan..! people dont see until they lose it..

Lebih kurang 11-12t/h.. (i dunno d exactly time).. ayah menghembuskan nafasnya yg terakhir.. innalillahi wa innalihairojiun.. daripadaNya kita dtg.. kepadaNya kita kembali..


*Reminisce..*
Ayah tiba2 jatuh sakit teruk on (17 Dec 2011) lebih kurang pukul 11-12t/h jugak.., 100 days before his death.. Lama jugak ayah admit, lebih kurang 2 mggu.. after discharge, condition xworst sgt, tp.. he's seen abnormal..not like those days.. i dont want to admit that, because i know ayah is fine, very fine. he juz confuse since there was a blood block in his brain. 


Ayah dh start buat bnda pelik2. smpi kakak xtahan sgt dgn ayah's behavior. Nk jaga syamir lagi..bwk budak in her tummy lagi.. Mmg kesian. ak pon xmenang tangan nak bantu. Ayah did something scary to see n even to hear, 40 days before his death. suratan or kebetulan.. wallahualam.


Ayah masuk hosp lagi, buat kali ke5, lps dh start xmau makan, minum.. baring jer, tapi sekejap kt lantai, sekejap mengesot dkt pintu.. segenap ruang tamu dan dapur die mengesot nk tidur. 


Masa at emergency room, i saw ayah mengalir air mata.. ayah looked at me n mom, n smiled.. ya Allah.. sedeyh sgt, xhenti2 air mata me n mom mengalir sama.. susah nk ckp kenapa kami sebak, sdgkn org nmpk ayah ok, mcm xsakit, tp keadaan dia yg lemah xmcm dlu yg menyentuh perasaan kami. Sebelum ni, if ayah demam or sakit, die xde tunjukkan yg dia sakit..


Me n mom bring down d bed dari bilik adeq..Nasib baik katil tu ringan n boley lipat, which is we even notice bout that!.. Sediakan katil utk ayah dgn harapan at least xbagi ayah kena jangkitan kuman kt paru2 lagi since ayah suka lie down kat lantai. Mula2 ayah agresif, so kna la ikat kaki n tgn mcm kt hosp.. 


on 25th March..
i juz got back from Penang at almost 10pm. d person that i met 1st was ayah.. Ayah nmpk lain sgt. im felt a lil bit worry. rs sebak tgk.. Muka sgt cengkung, badan sgt kurus.. Tp ak pujuk hati ni, insyaAllah everything's fine. n on dat nite, i decided juz to proceed wif my AL even mom said we're not bring Ayah to hosp for his appointment on d next morning. hati xtenteram, n felt like wanna stay at home to take care of ayah. mom asked me to find ayah's equipment like tilam/katil khas for patient, wheel chair etc after school.


26th March..
reached at home around 8am, after sent mom to school,n saw kakak bagi ayah minum. But she said ayah refuse. I juz stayed at living hall wif kakak n syamir, not as always which is stayin' at my room all d time.. Every 30mins-45mins i'd checked ayah's condition. His breath so loud, i can hear clearly.. 


1100am.. 
Kakak realized there was no breath from ayah..She asked me to check ayah's condition n started crying. i dont know what to do, id touched ayah's neck wif my palm.. still hot.. i asked kakak to call mom n said that ill fetch her immediately. On d way to her school, suddenly my tear drop like a waterfall. i cant stop myself from crying until reach at mom's school. 


when i reached at home, i ran quickly entered d house n saw aini's mom ajar ayah mengucap..but no response. me n kakak rushed to d nearest clinic n medical centre but unfortunately there was no doctor available/ have a service to come to d house. im so frustrated and asked mom to call d ambulance.


1200pm
the paramedic checked ayah wif their equipment. twice. no response. Ayah dah xde.. I cant stop myself from crying again. mom started crying too..


alhamdulillah.. rezeki ayah. urusan pengebumian ayah berlaku dengan pantas tanpa sebarang masalah. ramai yang datang membantu menghulurkan bantuan dari segi kewangan, tenaga, masa..im so touched. thanx everyone for your kindness and condolences. semoga Allah membalas jasa baik yang diberikan.


Xtau la kenapa, rs nak sgt jumpa ayah dlm mimpi. dan semalam dimakbulkan.. ayah nmpk sihat. :) semoga ayah baik2 di sana.. insyaAllah, bila tiba masa kami semua akan pergi ke tmpt ayah pergi juga. semoga doa dari kami utk ayah smpai d sana..we miss you so much.


MAZLAN ZULKIFLI BIN FATIMAH 
(13 Rabial'akhir 1372 - 3 Jamadil'awal 1433)
AL FATIHAH

ouchh.. mummy say sumthing make me smile till d ears.. hehe. amin. insyaAllah, mudah2an cmtu la.,coz im thinking d same way too! (^^,) hopefully what i had dream last nite adalah petunjuk n petanda yang baik on sumthing yg ak cari selama ni.. :)

Dear who may concern,

Kindly let me live my life freely without sit under your thumb. 

Thank you.