ThRu.My.EyEs

as i told before. my prediction is always right! hihi.. alhamdulillah. as my expectation..no 3 will be my lucky no kot dis year. :) i got 'sumthing' in d end of month of 3, 31st.. and i guess it is a great news for me. eventhou im not expect it at all. btul la kate org, "Best things happen when you least expect it!"

3+1+0+3+2+0+1+4 = 14
1+4 = 5 :D

ape ntah ak dok merepek2 ni. hahahaa. tp its makes a sense! n i love d conspiracy theory. im so amazed wif His plan. 
suratan or kebetulan? 

watever is dis, there is no word except Alhamdulillah. :DDD  and i cant wait to reach no.5, really soonnn~

"hidup ini indah jika kita tahu cara untuk menghargainya.." 

huh.. im so jealous!! nk p sana jugak.!! kalo dak, ak pon dh berada d sana dh skg niii.. menikmati angin sepoi2 bahasa istanbul dan melawat hagia sophea.. sob2. 

i believe, Allah xizinkan ak untuk ke sana lg.. but kindly make it happen at least once of my life soon.. oh my life partner. lets go there nnt k! <3

 

sumone is getting married before me! urghhh~ hahaha. its okay.. jodoh msg2 kan.. semoga Allah permudahkan segalanya. im happy for youuu! n actually for both of you! 

"ikan d laut, asam d darat, dalam kuali bertemu jua.." ahaks.. sejak ble korg main mata ni woyy?? hahaha.

might be apa yg ak ckp ni akan mengguriskan hati sesetengah pihak.*whopsii* but its d truth fact and i agree wif it. X)

actually, im not join d conversation sbb sebok sembang dgn colleagues yg lain, but suddenly i heard d conversation between my boss n several colleagues. *pasang telinga* haha.


Mr. I : kamu org mana?
Ms.A: sy org ampang..
Mr. I : Baru pindah? ni duduk menyewa ke kt ampang?
Ms. A: xlarh.. sy mmg duduk ampang dr kecik.. duduk rumah family.
Mr. I : Really..? i tot u from sumwhere else.. im surprise nowadays i jumpa people especially girl like u, from KL..tp xmcm org KL pon. u looks at my assistant. *buat2 xdgr X)* sme la tu.. pure KL jugak. org yg dtg dr kg is more daring dr uolls.
Mr. KZ: besela bro. culture shocked la tu.. bdk2 cmni. but really? i pon amazed jugak nii. ms.Me org KL? u pon ms.A? 


so, dont easily judge people. xkesah pon dtg dr mana. ceruk dunie mana sekalipun. sume nya atas diri sndri kn?hidup awk, awk yg tentukan. nk jadi nakal. nak jd naive. nk jadi jahat, nk jadi baik. sum people salahkan hidayah punca mereka xberiman.. konon xditurunkan 'hidayah'. woyyy, hidayah! awat hg xmai kt depa..??sian hidayah. semua org slhkan hg sbb xdpt hg! X) kalo nk mkn, nk duet, nk pasangan.. tau plak nk cri kan.. same goes to iman. xkn nk tggu jatuh gedebuk dpn mate, bru claim dh dpt seru or hidayah.  harsh words dh kluaq plak dah.. sorry~ jommuhasabahdirimsg2. :)

sy mesti pilih! XD

I’d rather have scars on my cheeks
And a crooked nose and
Bad skin and boney hips
Or boring eyes and boring hair and a boring mouth
And someone tell me
“You’re beautiful,”

Because I’d know they meant
I am beautiful in the way that I talk,
In the way that I listen, in the way that I love,
In the way that I am

Than have

Pretty lips and pretty teeth and
Pretty hair and a pretty nose
And ignorantly believe
That being beautiful in the way that I look
Is enough.

— Madisen Kuhn, "I’d Rather A Lovely Heart Than A Lovely Face

"Some people dream to be stars and celebrities, some dream to have big houses and expensive gifts, some dream to be most beautiful and have the perfect body...but me?

I just mostly dream to be happily married, to grow old with my (future) husband, still hold hands when we're both grey haired and wrinkly, and still in love with each other until our last breath." - FelixiaYeap..

so do i! X)

"Hari ini genap 2 tahun pemergian mu..ya Allah..ampunkanlah segala dosanya..tempatkan dia bersama orang2 yang soleh dan beriman.. Berehatlah dengan tenang dan aman..satu hari nanti kami juga akan menyusulimu.." - mom

"Sayu dengan isu semasa kebelakangan ni. Dengan isu Mesir, isu 370, isu politik yang tak berkesudahan. Dalam suasana dunia yang masih sedih dengan isu semasa, hampir terlupa yang arwah ayah pernah menjadi sebahagian daripada MAS satu ketika dahulu. 26 Mac 2014, genap 2 tahun dia pergi buat selama-lamanya."
 
"Ya Allah ampunilah dia."

"Cool dad, and always be" - adeq

"Juruterbang bijak. Cuma tidak mempunyai masa mencukupi." - Chris Goodfellow

hurghhh. i still cant sleep even now dah almost 4am. mgkn sbb tarikh keramat yg ak tunggu2 since past a year ago telah tiba.. mcm2 ak fikirkan dan plan utk hari ni. tapi.. dh xde makna dh.. it is had been betrayed. nk xnk kena redha even ak masih xfhm kenapa d things happen for d first place. its a fate kn. im juz unlucky.  (-_-)

you are juz lucky enuff.. n im not lucky as you. sape kate perkenalan yg singkat xboleh bawa ke arah ikatan yg sah.. sdgkan kalo perkenalan yg lama pon blum tentu menjamin kebahagiaan. d longer you know a person, d more you dont know bout them actually. so d things is be patience n trust to each other. we're only human yg xkan lari dr buat silap. xkan lari dri buat jahat. xkan lari dr to face d bad circumstances. and it's juz all bout d seriousness, honesty and sincere. he or she truly want to be a part of your life or not. truly want to be wif you for d rest of your life or not. 

mine?.. i dont meet him yet. d one (only one, perhaps) who are really want me to share d happiness, d joy, d good times, d hard times, d tears, d responsibilities and d life together. i dont know why dis news make me tear.. im happy? jealous?  oh pls.. i love to see d happiness in others.

sumone said "i may flirt, but i know exactly who i want." 

ayat berani mati. so means buka pekung sendiri. dari situ dh nmpk, ure not honest, not sincere n cant b trust! tp ur partner menerima kau se'ada'nya. semoga ur relationship baik2 sahaja. btul, kalo xde angin, pokok xkn bergoyang. so, ure not 100% wrong. ade org sambut, layan je la kn. 

even we're a human, have heart and soul but we're different. 

it's not my prinsip. for me, when i truly want sumone to be a part of me, i dont look for anyone else. hidup hanya sementara utk keseronokan. baik cri bekalan utk kehidupan yg abadi nnt.. byk lg benda kena blaja, kena buat. n marriage is a half of deen. for my understanding, 'in a relationship' is a way for me to complete my deen. how seriousness i wanna bring d relationship to b a 'valid' or 'legally bonding'. not as a platform to flirt n berseronok, but at d end, find the real one to be a life partner.? kesian ur spouse. coz ure second or third or fourth etc2 hand item dat he/she 'buy' or 'have to accept'. but karma is exist youngster. xdpt kt kau, dpt kt kaum keluarga kau, anak2 kau, cucu kau, cicit kau. kalo kau percaya tuhan wujud, so percayalah dgn 'janji' Dia. 

"perempuan baik utk lelaki yg baik.. lelaki yg baik utk perempuan yg baik"

"pasanganmu dari jenismu"

haihh, ape lah ak meleret2 ni kan.. lajunye la menaip.

by d way, my warm wishes.. Congratulations in advance dear! May everything will goes well. semoga Dia permudahkan segalanya.. wif lots of barakah. 

my non muslim fren asked me regards the MH370 issue. when d commentator of one of interview slot on tv said regards Allah's will.

"Hilang!! ia benar2 hilang!!"

"when he said bout the God's will.. im feel something wrong there. if d aeroplane have been found, u think d commentator downgrade His willing? pls.. no harm. im juz thinking dat he's should not said like dat in public.. pls think n give d comment logically in order to help and find d missing aircraft."

hmm.. what n how i have to explain more on dat thing? Ya Allah.. seriously.. i have no idea. i have been read in everywhere regards dis comment, for muslims, yes everyone agree wif him n give him a compliment towards him. and ofcoz i do believe in Allah's will. dlm al-Qur’an Allah berfirman:

"n bout d bomoh thingy really shame myself as a muslim too! d non muslim especially in oversea (bluergh) make a funny video n troll on dat. dis is not Islam thought anyway. pls dont underestimated my religion. it's hard to explain more regards religion coz im not good enuff on dat. n u btul2 buat i rs kena tampaq. (-.-!) it's really my bad. for me, my opinion..d bomoh not really practice d Islam thought well. dis is sick people who r play around wif Allah's name n whhyyyy la all dis 'sick' people everywhere? "

huh..klo bomoh tu baca ni..mampuih la ak kna saman. (>.<)

well.. it's really challenging me. to answer d question that i already know d answer but how d way u should explain to other's religion adherent? when even people who r claim he/she is a muslim, but they're 'play around' wif  Islam thought or way of life, like what some of non muslim frens had ask me before, why some muslim girl wear tudung, some dont. huh.

 i hope my explanation yesterday was good enuff. dat d best answer i'd gave, i guess. (T__T)

ya Allah.. takutnye dgr dan melihat.. muda2 belia semuanya.. pangkat adik2. n ada yg sebaya. yg pasti mereka dh tersilap langkah.. jauh sgt dh pergi tu.. kenapalah umat seagama ak jd cmni.. walhal agama ak ajar bnda yg baik2. ya Allah.. Kau turunkanlah hidayah utk semua makhluk yg Kau cipta. kasihanilah mereka ya Allah. bantulah mereka.

"you will die d way you lived"

ya Allah. Kau peliharalah anak2 yg ak bela ni sebaiknya. anak2 mamaya. pls take a good care of urself. one day.. if u read tis.. when im gone.. pls remember my words. i love both of u so much.. as so far i didnt have my own children.. but if i have them soon, both of u are always my children too.

please dont harm ur precious life. kelak  nnt bile kite berjumpa di sana.. kite semua dlm keadaan yg baik dan dpt berjumpa semula di jannah, insyaAllah.

org kate.. musuh jangan di cari.. tp ak rs musuh yg cari ak untuk dijadikan musuh! mmg silap ak. sbb syg seseorang more dr sepatutnye. 

Jangan syg berlebihan, kelak kau akan membencinya satu hari nnt.
Jangan benci berlebihan, kelak kau akan menyayanginya satu hari nnt..

i did not to hate sumone so much. but.. d other one, yes. i admit. i was careless. so lagu "impossible" tu mmg sesuai sgt la tuju kat ak. y d things was going on at d first place? kenapa? bukankah ak dh amik langkah berjaga2. tp ter'kena' jugak. kalo lah ak dpt bc fikiran, hati dan niat seseorang. alangkah bagusnye. so dat i know who r truly sincere wif me or not. arggh! sbb tu ak xsuke dgn 'permainan' mcm ni. it's not a good game to play!! sbb ak tau hati ak akan sakit sgt.pedih sgt. like 8 years ago. even we're not attached. but.. pls dont make me mad for d 2nd time. (T_T)

ak xde intention SENGAJA nk cari psl dgn manusia ni. sbb ak tau, dlm ajaran agama ak pegang, seseorang yg buat salah dgn seseorang yg lain, kena cri org yg die buat slh d akhirat nnt. sape sepatutnye yg dipersalahkn dlm hal ni? ak ke yg kena cari dia nnt? arghh. apesal ntah ak xabes2 pk hal yg lps2 tu. d thing is really harm my life so much! 

ya Allah.. ak xtau nape ak patut dan perlu face benda ni.. mcm2 ujian mendatang. hari demi hari. bulan demi bulan. tahun demi tahun. mmg hidup ak xpenah tenang.

"xpe mie.. biasanya org yg diuji ni..insyaAllah hidup die akan sng nnt.."

"patutkah manusia menyangka bahawa mereka beriman, sedangkan mereka tidak di uji.."

ujian? :( teruk jugak ujian yg semacam ni. ak xcukup tabah ya Allah. ak xcukup kuat ya Allah. hari2 ak buat berfikir, tibe2 menangis. keluh kesah memikirkan benda yg x worth nk fikir! ak jelek tgk sikap manusia yg buat salah tp still enjoy their life. nape dorg xde perasaan takut dgn janji Mu? ak pelik. serius ak pelik. and kenapa mereka xde intention utk ke arah kebaikan walhal dah tau baik buruk sesuatu perkara? pelik.. serius ak pelik. bagilah mereka hidayah Mu. Tunjukkanlah rs belas kasihan Mu pada mereka. biar mereka tergolong dlm golongan baik2 juga. semoga mereka turut masuk ke Jannah Mu. even ak pon belum tentu dpt masuk ke sana, tp ak sedaya upaya menjadi seorang yg berusaha menuju ke arah kebaikan. Alhamdulillah, 27 tahun, masih belum di sia2kan dgn perkara yg memburukkan diri sendiri mcm kehidupan sesetgh org. kesian.. tp bukankah itu sume pilihan diri masing2? haruskah salahkan takdir? padahal Allah dh kurniakan otak untuk berfikir. sng ckp kn? haah. mmg pon. ckp mmg sng. buat pon sng. sbb pilihan atas DIRI msg2. nk xnk buat jer. ilmu penuh di dada pon xguna, kalau hanya tau cakap tp xbuat.

tp skrg, mslhnye nape ak jer yg bersedih. sbb mgkn ak tak terbiasa dgn keadaan cmni? bg la hati ak ckup kuat nk hadapi sume ni. mcm org lain yg buat salah, yg hati kering xfikir lgsg perasaan org. ak pun nk jugak hati yg kejam mcmtu! pls. i really want it. doa org ter'aniaya' dimakbulkan kn. dan ak rs ak teraniaya. ntah kenapa ak rs cmtu ntah. n kalo btul ak teraniaya, plss.. give me that heart! like now. i want it so bad!!

suddenly.. the 'courage' thought appear at my newsfeed.. *surprisingly* You read me well.

one day.. if the only feeling that i have now is tired, i will do like as what you want.

time.. pls turn back! i wanna demolished the good moment part before, coz i dont want to b suffer like today! like what i feel as at dis moment.

im looks strong in front, but actually i know im not. yes im not.

im trapped! and i know He will help me to go through dis ordeal. but im not sure until when i've keep to be like dis. oh pls.. can i have it like now? :'(

arghh..why..? feel like there are butterflies flies all over in my heart. nervous gila bak hangg! and i still cant sleep at dis time! huh, rs mcm nk berlari keliling rumah.! adrenaline rush attack me. i know i can do it. but better or not, im not so sure..

wat ever may come will come aiyte.. (>.<)

"dah itu jer rezeki dah tertulis buat kau.."

kan.. at d end.. back to qada n qadar jugak. so.. sebelum bertanya, think wisely la.. or dh jenis mmg suke berckp.. bru nk berfikir.. m(-.-)m but, its ok. fair enuff. im trying to understand. what's actually Allah want me to hear anyway kn. n let me to think. mgkn die dihantar sebagai pengantara utk ak cube memahami isi dunie.

kalaolah hidup ni boleh dikawal.. mmg sume kisah kehidupan, sumeorg indah belake. even oklah.. make sense, masukkan part2 negatif, but for sure it's not harsh like dis. xde la tertanya2.. kenapa mcmtu.. kenapa mcmni. begitu begini. 

im believe setiap musibah yg diberi ada sbb2 tertentu yg kite belum nmpk.. or mmg xkn nmpk? tp it will give a lesson to our life. im trying hard to pujuk diri sendri supaya kuat. "ala.. bnda cmni pon nk down. kuatla ckit. ade bnda lg besar patut difikirkn.." 

mgkn. im not sure. mgkn ade lg benda yg besar utk difikirkan..

Anyone can contradict themselves once or twice. We’re only human, and sometimes we make mistakes. deliberately or not. it’s consistent behavior that conveys how someone really feels.

everyone deserve to feel d happiness n to be happy kn.. even thou they had kills other's happiness. deliberately or not.
ya.. please b happy always.. as much as u can. no harsh. i mean it. literally.

oh.. what a blast.. im happy for d precious moment of all of you frens!!.

further study. convocation. getting a good job. getting engaged. getting married. getting a newborn baby. what a blast. 
Alhamdulillah for d wonderful moment of life kn.. 

im waiting for mine.. two of it has been passed. but who know suddenly my luck n rezki to create a milestone on d another achievement.! 

yup.. im keep smiling.. coz im still have a reason to smile. because life is beautiful thing and there is so much to smile bout! :)