stranded in d high mountain

im stuck. why is so hard for me to get through this? to firmly decide for d best. i juz want what everybody want n dream for. im fighting, im working, im keeping, im holding, im staying but ya.. whatever i do, ketentuan Dia mengatasi segalanya.. 

i really hate dis feeling. d feeling  back in 7 years ago dat i deadly wanted to throw away. very far far away to d place dat i never see it again.. but its ridiculous. i might be have 20 or 30 years more to live if possible. there are too many things i will face soon. 

time.. im begging.. pls fly fast. faster as u can. whatever comes, im gonna through jugak.. i cant run or hide anywhere. i will go trough d phase dat i dont know either is good or pain.

im afraid.. im too afraid of losing d things dat i already have.. i own.. i love.. i care.. i dream for.. but i know.. semua xkn kekal. i already lost my best hero, supporter. i will lose my best superwoman, adviser soon. i will lose my bestbuddy n my best 'rowdy friend' soon. i will lose my sweet lil monsters soon. n its not impossible if i will lose my very first dat i deadly dream n wish will b my last.

why life is so hard to understand? to live in? kehendak vs reality. its too hard utk dimengertikan..

nadia.. ketentuan Dia mengatasi segalanya. 

ya.. i know..~