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Hard time

SINCE my mother returned from the pilgrimage, she was sick. this is a common jet lag symptom. but last 2 night is an abnormal situation . i can't bear to face the second time, watching my parents dying before my eyes. im really not prepared to lose d another one. as at dis moment. really. 


She start mumbling nonsense. watching us in meaningless clue. act as not she was before. i can see clearly her face is like want to cry when we have to manage her, doing dis n dat. becoz she is independent lady. she will do anything without man's help especially. she always know what is best for her family terutama to fulfill anak2's demand. but when she cant even to stand up her body, dats make her upset. she asked my sis, "mak menyusahkan kakak ke?"  D funny things, she is always asked regards her skin, "kulit muka mak dh ok ke? dh elok dh?" (hmm. sempat lg pk psl kulit mke die yg mengelupas kemerahan sbb alahan cuaca panas). she also said to me, in unclear speaking but i understand her words, "kat sana sihat. kat sini tiba2 sakit. nasib baik sakit dkt sini. kalo dkt sane.. hmmmmm." After that, lgsg, we cant even understand a single word, what she tried to say. is like stroke symptom. tutur kata xjelas and passive.

i fed her some food. she ate juz a lil bit. then she watched her surrounding in awkward looks. just like what my late father do, in d same condition, when he cannot manage himself to do anything. im not ready. not ready to face unwanted situation again, yet. i am not.

me, sissy and lilbro bring down mak from her room to living hall. dgn menggunakan kudrat yg ada, we manage to angkat mak. im glad everyone is at home. facing this moment all together. doing dis and dat together. take care of everyone together.

When we send to d hosp, she has been quarantined at d special centre. i have been told, if d pilgrim who got sick, will be isolated at d Triage Centre. mereka akan diambil darah serta merta, coz Tanah Arab is considered high risk area for MERS-ConV. i saw there was a pilgrim couple at d centre. We also have to wear d mask all d time coz as waris yg tggl serumah has been suspected too.

Alhamdulillah. Allah answered my prayer. my mom back to normal. and looking good today. Doctor said she is negative from dat virus. Hope everything is just fine. and we can focus on hari penting adek very soon.

*******************************************************

i cant imagine whether i can bear or not if im in her shoes, doing hajj, survive and manage myself in there, alone.
 d iron lady. dont mess with hajjah. 


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