move in or out?

huh.. mcm mana nk ckp. mmg sakit hati dgr problem yg raise up lately.. dr pelbagai sudut plak tu. even bkn main 'target' tp terkena jugak tempias2 nya.. but i think d problem is not harm me so bad. im still can handle dat situation. like what my mom said before.. semua tmpt ade mslhnye. atas diri kite dpt cope dat problem or not. sume nyer atas diri sndri. if you want, take it. if you dont, leave it.

im still confusing. do i need to get out from here? sbb target ak utk life skg bkn psl kerjaya. even sbnrnyer ak pon dh rs kurang selesa to stay here. benda yg nk dielakkan drpd terjadi tp suddenly happened jugak. ingat sng ke nk lupakan cmtu je? fuuh, gile la hebat kalo berjaya if easily to forget it. oh..mgkn bnda ni bese bg sesetgh org.. ak ingat ak ni kuat. tp sbrnyer x pulak..

back to probs, mmg sentap giler dgn 'usikan' org. i juz do my job. to promote company corporate branding is under me secara xlgsg. bkn bermkna ak syg giler kt dia. ak dibayar utk menaikkan reputasi company dgn cara media promotion. not only doing office task based on day to day operation. i have extra job on dat task, compare with others. sbb ni atas arahan company owner sendiri. 

lg satu, sbb ak byk dgr keluhan dr colleagues..so dat im trying to make them happy eventhou setiap kali event, ak la org plg bz dan penat nk lyn karenah dorg dan silly things happened suddenly  . yes, indeed. my intention juz only want to make them happy sbb keje dkt site sgt thrill compare dgn office. sbb tu ak xkesah spend my weekend doing remeh temeh thingy and full swing on 1st dinner dkt GH dlu eventhou KPI ak utk dat task dpt low due to internal matter. tp ade org kesah? TAK.. sbb bkn hal dorg. xpe. pdn muke ak jgak. tp tula.. bile buat event, ade xdpt join due a ton of works (its ok) tp yg sengaja xnak bg commitment tu? bile xbuat, asking dis n dat. 

as a 'sigh' counter to owner, i have to lend my ear to hear his grieves regards to dis matter.. adat la tu, manusia xpernah berpuas hati selagi xkena dgn ape yg die mau. sume org ade own desire. dan opkoz xsama; katenye.

sapa kata ak xde intention to leave dis 'lovely' organization? its only a matter of time. im juz appreciate little things that happened in my life. im appreciated to be a part of this organization. im appreciated to have lovely people surrounding me like now who will always give me a courage when i down, pray for my happiness, and treat me well . most of em are from d organization's buddies. im appreciated to have a 'leader' like Mr I. S and T who are give me trusts to do their P&C matters regard to organization and believe i can handle their urgent needs well.

yer, btul..setiap tmpt ade mslhnye.. d only serius matter for me at dis place, only on earning issue. i can handle a lots of incoming ad hoc job. but id been paid only by 'prescribed fee'. im not entitled to claim my fee on extra time, im not entitled to have allowance and have a limited expenses claim. but im still can survive coz i have no social life to spend much money. problem raise when i need to use money for commitment matter as roadtax, self need and future unexpected issue. plus vacation n my own majlis kawen?! 

one of my fren said to me.. a non muslim buddy. 

"kalo kite buat kerja kurang dr apa bayaran kite dpt, berdosa like mkn gaji buta but. kalo kite buat kerja lebih drpd kite dpt, we will get pahala".

 i do agree wif dat statement, so dat ak xde rs bersalah sbb sumtimes ak xfulfill d extra task sepenuhnyer. ak pon tgh kumpul bekalan akhirat jugak.sbb ak ada agama n i believe in my religion's guide. seimbangkan life dunia akhirat ak dgn cara ak sndiri? Adakah ak GILA? 

money is not everything but everything is money.

as i said.. my current main target is not a profession..i have something on life issue that bother myself regards future life to think more .. ohh.., do i need take a move now? coz i hate to b in dis unknown unstable mixed feeling.